I am more desperate than ever to move away and start our new life.  More than I can properly convey in words.  There are too many reasons for why I want to get away and the list seems to grow daily.

We have come to accept that, given our situation, we will not be able to get a mortgage.  It has made me sad because I really hoped that the next time we moved would be into a house that we owned.  But for now that is just a pipe dream.  A slightly more realistic option would be for us to buy a plot of land and build our own ‘flat pack’ home, but even that feels very far out of reach.  So, after months of seeking out a house to buy, my search is now focussed on rental properties.

Rightmove has become a drug to me.  I crave it when I’m not on it, my heart races when I am on it, and then afterwards I am left with a feeling of emptiness and loss.  I can fall in love 10 times in one Rightmove session, but all the while knowing that these loves will never be mine.  I am not picky.  I just want a home for my family.

Tonight’s trawl has uncovered some mind blowing gems that I would never have found had I not put the buying dream on hold.  I have found a couple of houses which are cheaper than the £700 that we currently pay and are 3 times the size.  If these houses were in the platinum M21 postcode you’d be looking at a minimum of £2000 per month.  Seeing these houses have lifted me a little bit and given me a bit more drive towards getting away.  We have a lot of loose ends of tie up here before we can actually move, but I’m hoping that we can secure something in the not too distant future.